America, Day 7

Woke up to P asking me whether I would care to watch some lectures on cosmology with him. Would I ever! Or rather that was my intention but the combination of the lack of sleep and the announcer’s voice (who would have thought that a British accent could be quite so…soporific?) sent me back into a drowsy state in which I missed the finer points of the neutrinos, photons, atoms and the birth of the Universe. Oh well. We can’t do everything.

I went back to sleep and did some work. Then it was time for another outing, this time to the Lindsay Wildlife Museum.

Here are some pics of the place :

I got some nice shots of the animals but they are too many to post here. Check Flickr if you want.

I must say, it’s heartening to see so many people give of their time, money and effort to help with animal rescue. There IS hope for humans after all. Keep up the good fight people. Gaia needs more like you.

There were 2 school buses outside, and I had some more emotional experiences while seeing the children run around. A Chinese girl with the cutest pigtails you ever did see ran right past me while I was looking at some of the eagles. 21 years ago, that could have been my little sister.

Besides the use of mobile phones, everything looked the same. It was like time never passed…but I caught a glimpse of myself in a mirrored door and I was twice the size that I was when I first lived in the US. Not to mention almost thrice the age.

The warm, caring people, the offhand jokes and chance remarks…this is the California that I remember. And I think I’m a lot better equipped to appreciate it now.
It’s at times like these that I feel that I want to drop everything and move back to the US…but then I return to myself once more and ask an important question. Who’s saying that? My mother’s past fear that says that I have to decide and decide NOW and the cost be damned? My poor, lost and lonely self of many years before?

I don’t need to answer. I don’t, not when it will come to me. The Dharma returns to me once more and I move my consciousness back to the present. Breathe. Breathe. Go over to the car door. Turn the handle. Breathe. Get into the seat, and let the sunshine in.

Had lunch with P and learnt a bit about his life story as well. Turns out he worked in a nuclear submarine at one point! That’s not something you hear every day.

Had lunch at a nice restaurant with a great menu which I have to share :

Peace, love and sushi. I can get behind that.

Went home to deal with such mundane affairs as laundry and grocery shopping. Guests were coming for dinner and I was tapped to bring out my Szechan Surprise…it’s actually not really Szechuan anything, just chillies and other assorted goodies. Don’t tell anyone though.

Planned menu with A and starting defrosted food. God I love cooking. Did I ever tell you that I wanted to be a chef when I was in my mid 20s? Probably good I didn’t though. Chefs lead hard lives…just watch Ratatouille and you’ll know whereof I speak.

Wrote blog post and other stories while waiting for dinnertime. I’m not a bad cook (just ask anyone who’s eaten my food) but I think writing is more my metier.

Oh yes, and also called my old schools, trying to find my teachers. No luck…I got to the schools alright but none of them worked there anymore. Which given the fact that it had been 21 years is not unsurprisingly. The nice black lady on the other line recommended I use Facespace or something. Good idea but that was my first port of call and I still turned up empty.
I went so far as to call the Los Angeles Unified School District but they told me the same thing – that they couldn’t give out confidential employee information. Which made perfect sense. I thanked them and put the phone down, feeling confused and a little lost.

What was I expecting? To be able to find all of them again? Wise Mrs Randle, no-nonsense Mr Weiss, gentle Jeff Felz, and everyone else besides. Yes…yes I was actually. But maybe it was not fated to be. That generation isn’t actually known for their use of Facespace.

I will be able to take tours of the schools though, which is great. I hope I won’t break down in tears when I actually do get to LA. If I do, though, well…whatever happens, happens.
More of A’s art :

Wrote somemore. Finished up a story or two as well. This trip has been fantastic for me…it’s accelerating my creativity by leaps and bounds. Could there also perhaps be some time for more Gundam Unicorn?

There was. Got to about halfway through Episode 5. Had to stop before the big fight. Didn’t want so much feels before I had to cook.

Speaking of cooking…using another’s kitchen is always kind of new and exciting. You don’t know where everything is. You don’t know what condiments and seasonings they have. You don’t even know HOW they cook.

You know the adage “too many cooks spoil the broth?” It should be more aptly named “get the fuck out of my way when I’m in the kitchen.” There’s a reason why there’s only one chef and one sous-chef in any given restaurant…you can’t have TWO commanders in chief!

Anyway, for today’s dinner I was the guy in charge because I was making most of the dishes. I needed to debone a chicken in double-quick time because a) they apparently didn’t sell chopped chicken in the US and b) A had no cleaver. Thankfully I had done that before. So I did it the ghetto way – use a kitchen knife for what I could do, and then rip the rest in half with my bare hands. Caveman cooking, there’s nothing quite like it.

A remarked that my cooking was very Japanese style, with everything being cut into little pieces that could be picked up easily with chopsticks. She’s…actually right. I’ve never thought of it being that way before, but yeah, I do tend to cut everything kind of small. Shortens cooking time, for one.

More pics of the food! Looks good don’t it? It tasted even better.

Everyone liked it. I keep on forgetting that as Mei An once remarked, no one who has ever eaten my food has complained. Some of the people I had dinner with earlier came over. Richard (who is no slouch at cooking himself!) liked it, and that was a compliment of the highest order.

The bathroom mat got soaking wet because I forgot that you put the shower curtain on the INSIDE rather than on the OUTSIDE. Everyone at dinner got a good laugh about that. Sometimes it’s the small differences between countries that matter the most…bathroom mats, shower curtains, when dinnertime is, no deboned chicken or choppers. As I often remind myself, not everything needs to be some Incredibly Emotional Life-Changing Event. Life is often just…life, wherever in the world it may be.

Kind of excited about tomorrow. I’ll be seeing D and P again for the first time in months. They are very dear friends of mine and have taught and given me much. Also, we’re going to sing, and everyone who knows me knows how much I love singing!

So many things to learn about blogging and video editing and God knows what else…I’ve got my work cut out for me in the foreseeable future.

Went to watch more Gundam Unicorn. It’s as powerful as ever, and best taken in small doses. Halfway through Episode 5. It’s good therapy actually, in many different ways…learning that emotional things can be good but don’t need to be SO GODDAMN EMOTIONAL.

Banagher may end up being my favorite Gundam pilot, after like 17 years of watching Gundam.

He has Domon’s fury, Setsuna’s resolve, Amuro’s intution, Camille’s resistance, and Usso’s innocence. As well as a kindness all of his own. And his hair…gotta love that fluffy fluffy hair!
And the Unicorn! What a mobile suit. I don’t think it will beat the Type-2 Quanta (the only Gundam ever designed for peace instead of war…it literally HAS NO WEAPONS) but it’s fucking awesome. It’s only possibly the only mobile suit that has fought on both Federation and Zeon lines.

More random scenery pics :

Had more to write but in the spirit of new things decided to just end things here for today. It’s been a long post and a long day in any case.

では、次の機会にマジンゴーーーー！(Alright then, until the next time, Mazin Gooooooooooooooooo!)
ずっと言ったかった、あのセリフ。。。（I’ve always wanted to say that line.)

As a stopgap measure for photos, you can check out most of them here while I learn to use WordPress more effectively.

I’ll begin today’s entry with the observation that most of my meetings have been very multicultural. Poker Night had 2 Singaporeans, 1 Russian, a Scottish lady and I think 1 British woman? Yesterday’s excursion was 1 American, 1 Japanese, 1 Singaporean, 1 German and an Austrian.

Transculturalism, spirituality, LGBT rights, oh yes, and don’t forget anime! Hmm, yeah, this is my life alright.

Morning was a trip with P to meet a bunch of learned gentlemen discuss psychology, neuroscience and the brain. Sounds like my idea of heaven!

And yes the company was very learned indeed. 2 professors (maybe more!) at least 2 doctors and well…I’m not counting titles, but it was high-quality intellectual discourse. The host took me to see his library, which was quite a sight.

Look at all these books. Just look at them. Quite a sight, no? A scene from Read or Die comes to mind here :

We watched a DVD where there was some guest lecturing, followed by conversation and discussion of the presented matter. Just like our services back home! (but without the hymns)

I was asked a variety of questions by all the gentlemen present. I felt like a bright young inquisitive student being peered over by his professors on his first day of school. All the college experience without going to college.

I got very good advice from everyone there, especially regarding the possible shortening of any university courses I might take. If I ever do go back to school, it would be good to know that I can spend less instead of more time there…it’s really different when you’re spending your money instead of your parents’, that’s for sure.

Also, I’ve gotten my life story down to 2 minutes, the short version. We’ll see if I can’t whittle it down further.

It was another really fun and educational experience. I think what was the best for me was not feeling the urge to jump out and dominate the conversation, but instead remind myself to sit and listen. It’s getting easier and easier to do that. It’s easier to do that when everyone there knows so much. Then you’re just in awe and you don’t feel like showing off because you can’t.

Everyone was so learned and polite! I felt like I was in ancient Greece or something, debating philosophy in the agora. All we needed was a vomitorium and some slaves to complete the picture…ok maybe not that.

Came home to write more blog posts and discover that WordPress is harder to use than I thought, even with Google. I’m discovering the limitations of Google more and more.

We went for a nice walk to the upper ridges of Walnut Creek. Pictures!

Soon enough it was time for dinner, in which it was time to cook the same meal that I’ve cooked for guests more than 10 times…none of them better read this blog or I’m sunk! Actually that just means I’ve gotten that much better at preparing it. Always look on the bright side of life.

I suppose I shall have to post some pictures of the food like a normal denizen of the 21th century. So here you are.

I’ve forgotten how much I like cooking. It’s just too much trouble to do so most of the time, but I love it! From cutting to preparation to putting it all together – it’s really fun. A seemed impressed with my cutting skills. To which I can only reply…見よう！子の華麗なる包丁裁きを！(Gaze upon the most beautiful use of my kitchen knife!)

Things turned out too watery at first but we had cornstarch to the rescue. I always forget that you don’t need to rewash meat from a plastic container. And that you can pat the meat dry.

Everyone finished all the food, and there was a lot of it. That is the ultimate compliment anyone can pay a chef. Thanks all!

A friend of P and A’s, M (an older Japanese lady), came over. She seemed amazed that I learnt Japanese just from anime and games. I refrained from telling her that it’s not exactly uncommon…not common, but not THAT uncommon among otaku. I guess it must be pretty wow for their generation.

She also told me that I looked and spoke like a Japanese person. I get that all the time. It’s a compliment though!

Bed beckons. I’ll see you tomorrow the same Tomato time, same Justice channel.

Woke up thinking again. Got fed up with myself for thinking so much. Went for a walk instead.

Also going to have to tidy up the blog from its barebones approach SOMETIME. Which given my busy schedule is likely to be later rather than sooner.

I managed to take some pictures instead of having everything bounce around in my skull for a change. It’s a very very pretty area that P and A live in! Here, I’ll show you.

And as I walked and thought (hard to shut that off completely) I felt more of the flickering ghosts of the past seem to dissipate one by one. Perhaps contemplation has a point after all. I still think, but somehow very differently that I have ever done. More changes, all of them good.

Some pictures of the house :

So we began the day with a memorial service. I’ve never actually been to a UU church before. It’s nice, really nice actually.

The sanctuary :

I never knew this woman at all but seeing all her friends and family gathered here, she must have been quite somebody and have led quite a life. 5 kids by 25! That was life in the old days I guess. It was quite an honor to be present at the reception. There were cookies and discussions and I met many nice new people.

At this point I must relate that I am resisting the urge to go back and fine-tune and polish and edit each post so that it’s sparkling clean and Reads Beautifully. I’m trying to do this off-the-cuff and off-the-cuff it will stay. As a friend of mine told me, blog posts are not academic papers and I’m trying to write in the spirit of the former and not the latter.

Paul took me on a tour of the church. There was a lot to like about it. I’ll show you some of the highlights.

Phoenix robes! Like some kind of D&D thing. These are definitely one reason to become a UU minister. They give you like +3 to Cool.

I especially like the restrooms. They delight my pro-LGBT heart immensely.

It’s a very spiritual beginning to my journey of exploration. We go from death and rebirth to rebirth and death. It’s going great. I can feel my always inwardly turning thoughts facing outwards more. It’s nice to be able to do things instead of constantly just THINKING about them.

It’s also interesting to always be the youngest person in the room – with most of the others being at nice twice my age if not more! Perhaps it is my fate in life to be constantly clapped on the back by older gentlemen. It feels really nice actually, and there are far worse things to be subjected to.

What was next on the agenda? Poker, apparently. Texas Hold’Em to be precise.

We had dinner at the house of a longtime friend of P and A. It was great. All the dinners I’ve had on this trip have been incredibly good. I feel soooooooooooo spoiled. Companionship, great food, healing, beautiful scenery, what else could a man ask for? (The phone number of the wildflower of yesterday, actually…)

You have never met such a bunch of delightful, fun and amazing old people. I guess the adage is true – young at heart. One of them made a poignant observation that old people tend to be less inhibited than young ones because they’ve seen and done it all already. Very true! Young people need alcohol. I guess that makes me old then because I don’t.

So we actually got to play without money, just chips, which was a welcome relief from Singapore in which NO ONE GAMBLES WITHOUT MONEY EVER. Sorry, that was just me venting my spleen of 20+ years. What’s wrong with just gambling for FUN now and then, people?

So I just have to relate this anecdote that sent the lady in question into gales of laughter. She was texting someone on the phone and this was the exchange.

“Where can this guy go clubbing?”

“Well if he’s gay, he can go here…”

“HE’S NOT GAY!”

No I’m not, so that destination (whatever it was) was clearly out. It was apparently cop humor. She and her partner were cops in SF for 35 years.

They tried their best to corrupt an impressionable young man (ha, ha, who am I kidding?) and very nearly succeeded. There were stories shared and many laughs besides. I said it and I meant it – SF will have to try hard to top this!

It was a fantastic day, and the best poker night ever. Thanks to everyone who was a part of it. Richard for the food, Annie for the hospitality, Rosemary for her humor, and everyone else for their advice, wit and vivacity.

Oh yes, and I met the most best-behaved dog I have ever seen in my life. I forgot to take a picture of her but Koko is a beauty. She’s really friendly, licks your face and actually sits down on the couch at 9 sharp and goes to bed. What about that?

Random picture of clouds I think is pretty nice :

As Mr Saturn might say “DO YOU WANT SLUMBER?” As it came time for bed I certainly did.

I’m going to have to think up a different reference to end each day here, a task which both fills me with anticipation and dread.

So here I am off on my journey of exploration and discovery, part 2. Thanks to everyone for their kind messages and prayers on Facebook.

In the spirit of trying new things I’m going to make a blog post every day as a record of what l see, do, feel and think. That way you can follow my travels and Zuckerberg won’t steal anything. It’ll be like my Japan trip about 8-9 years ago, just written in real-time this time.

Had a simple dinner with my Dad before leaving on a jetplane. (aha, reference!) He’s…the same as always I guess. I always feel a little conflicted when I meet with him these days. Everything he knows and feels is frozen in time, and that used to drive me up the wall because…well, we live in the now, not in the past! But what was frustration and anger before has changed largely to compassion. Thanks for seeing me off Dad.

Sat next to a nice couple of the way to Abu Dhabi. Mentioned anime (because I mention anime to everyone I travel with) and the girl doesn’t watch it (what a pity!) but the guy watches Naruto, Bleach and Fairy Tail. Sigh. What’s the world coming to? Whatever happened to watching DBZ and Sailor Moon and …ok I’m going to stop the Old Grumpy Anime fan act now. He can  watch whatever the fuck he wants. And they were really nice and shared half a cookie with me. I also learned that Etihad means “union.” Learn something new every day.

Things get pretty cramped in Economy and there’s a lot of accidental bumping and pushing and shoving. But simple apologies work wonders. As I come out of the darkness I appreciate the little things a lot more.  Imagine – what a wonderful world in which we can say sorry to each other when we bump into each other or there isn’t enough space!

There are no pictures in this post because it will be just be boring pictures of airport after airport. And also because I forgot to take them.

In the middle of each flight I engaged myself in my favorite mid-flight activity – entertaining young children. They look at me, I look back at them. I smile, they smile. I play  peek-a-boo, and after a few moments of bewilderment (WTF is this guy doing? they seem to do say) they play along. They wave their hands around, and so do I. I get grateful smiles from the parents (after a few moments of “WTF is this guy doing?”) Works every time, and it’s a fun way to pass the time.

Got held up at Abu Dhabi immigration because I had no return ticket – perfectly understandable. Got asked a bunch of tough questions because it’s their job to do so. In the past I would have been all you DON’T UNDERSTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND but thank God those days days are past me. I just smiled and answered and honestly and as best as I was able. It’s good to know that Uncle Sam has such reliable and honest guardians.

I like the last part of my exchange with the officer :

“So you won’t call the cops if I stay for a month and 10 days?”

“You stay for 4 months and I’ll call the cops.”

“If I stay for 4 months I’ll turn myself in.”

I got a smile out of that one. But I mean it. A month (and a half or so on top of that, tops) should be more than enough. I have no intention of making trouble for these good people.

Back on the plane, I remembered how much I love flying. Apologies to my beloved sister and mother but having to take care of their panic attacks on planes really killed the experience for me before. I wonder what it is about being 3000 miles above the earth in a flying box with nothing but recycled air and reheated food for company that appeals to me. (Now I’ve gone and killed it for you haven’t I?)

I think if there was a job that allowed me to fly here and there, testing airlines, I would take it. But I don’t think I would want to work as an airline steward. Too stressful.

Flying was nice. In the past it was all I HATE SINGAPORE AND I’M SO GLAD I’M GOING AWAY but now…now it’s different, as is almost everything else. I like the romance of being in the air. I like the pretty airline stewardesses. I even like the airline food, reheated though it may be (it’s actually pretty good on some airlines, like Etihad)

I used to be so afraid of take-off and landing and turbulence, but now I can just close my eyes and get past all of that. It’s almost pleasant. More wounds being healed by the simple fact of existence. Ain’t life grand?

Woke up before everyone else did on the plane, decided to write blog post with no editing whatsoever. This journey is full of new experiences.

Strangely enough still very calm. I don’t feel this “OMG I’M FINALLY GOING TO AMERICA” that I thought that I would feel. I guess all that meditation and Zen is really paying off? Maybe I’ll break down when I hit the tarmac. No way to tell.

Watched some Gundam Unicorn on the plane but when I got to the scene where Banagher faces off against Loni in Episode 4 I had to stop. WAY too emotionally intense. I’ll watch it another time.

Unicorn is powerful…beyond powerful. I am reminded of a comment that my sister made when she watched it. “Is this what my brother sees when he watches Evangelion?” All that and more, dear sister. It’s not like I don’t like Gundam either! (after all, my beloved EVA would never exist without it!)

When I first saw the NDS activate, and the red lines permeate every inch of the mobile suit…whew, I had to breathe deeply. It’s truly the successor to UC in more ways than one. A paragraph here and there doesn’t do it justice, I’ll do a full writeup eventually.

To be continued tomorrow.